In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David.
Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.
Now Amnon had an adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. He asked Amnon, “Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?”
Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
“Go to bed and pretend to be ill,” Jonadab said. “When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.’”
~II Samuel 13:1-5
What does Amnon's willingness to use deceit to get to Tamar tell you about his "love" for her?
- that he will do anything to get her into bed with him
- Right now I can't think of a clear example of my own. but, if I had deceived anyone before, I'm sure the situation did not turn out very well, and therefore in the end was not worth trying in the first place
So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, “I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand.”
David sent word to Tamar at the palace: “Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.” So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat.
“Send everyone out of here,” Amnon said. So everyone left him.
~II Samuel 13:6-9
Why do you think David was willing to allow Tamar to nurse Amnon? Do you think he was aware of any danger?
- Because Tamar was a caring daughter, however, David was probably oblivious as to what Amnon really wanted to do with Tamar
- She cared for her brother and wanted him well and also trusted him
- a number of years ago I had a college roommate whom was very studious -- not that I wasn't -- but, one day I had lieft my dorm room for a rehearsal of sorts and a few hours later, I came back, my roommate was already in bed at an unusual hour. Thinking nothing of it, I went to my computer. I knew before I had left the room I had everything still on; monitor, speakers, tower, etc. Well, everything was in working order, except, when someone IM'd me, I didn't hear any sound comming out of the speakers. I asked my roommate if she knew anything could be wrong with it, but all she said was that she didnt know. So I'm trying to think myself as to what the heck is going on. Suddenly, my roommate leaves the room with her blanket and never returns teh rest of teh night! I found out later that she stayed in a friend's room. So, I can't figure out what the heck is wrong, I start to freak out, and I could also sense something wasn't right since my roommate left the room. Thankfully, I find someone that was still awake and they found out that my speakers were unplugged. Obviously I didn't do this. Someone else did. I did feel pretty hurt that since I trusted my roommate that she practically lied to me. All she had to do was turn off my speakers and leave me a note saying she did so because she was exhausted from the day or wasn't feeling well. I'll tell you this though, at the end of the weekend, we did talk about it and everything is fine between us not. We have sort of lost touch with one another, but there are no hard feelings anymore.
Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat.
“Send everyone out of here,” Amnon said. So everyone left him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.”
“No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
~II Samuel 13:9-14
Describe your feelings as a woman when you read Tamar's pleas.
- In a way, I don't know who would really want to be married to their own brother, but I'm proud that Tamar tried her best to fight her brother off
Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”
~II Samuel 13:15
Why do you think Amnon's feelings changed so quickly?
- he possibly realized he did a wicked thing
- Maybe one example could be that we ask someone to help us with a homework assignment, but instead of wording our answers our own way, we use that persons answers as they wrote them down. This, of course, is called cheating, and this is wrong because we have and shoudl use our own opinions to express ourselves. If we use this example, our best words to say to that person are "well, this is what I said, and if you agree with me write it in your own words, or if you don't say something that would be completely opposite of my answer, using your own words."
“No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.”
But he refused to listen to her. He called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.” So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.
Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.
~II Samuel 13:16-20
What could Tamar possibly have meant by "sending me away"being a "greater wrong" than rape? What did she want from Amnon?
- If people saw her outside, looking all dishevled, either they would sense she is a prostitute or that she was raped, in either case, they would automatilcally claim her as unclean.
- I personally don't know what she woudl have wanted from him, but I guess she would want him to find a way to undo the wrong he committed.
Why do you think Tamar went to live in Absalom's house? Campare her future before and after the rape.
- Because she knew she could trust her other brother because she was close to him
- before the rape, she was probably fit to be queen soon, but now that she was rapted, no one would want a queen that woudl be "unclean" before marriage
- Everyone has a relationship with someone in the, whether it be a friendship or a romantic significan other. All of them have good things and bad things about them. If either of these have gone sour, I think it's the good things that we shoudl always keep in our hearts and remembe so that we have something smile about once in a while. We can learn mostly fromthe godo things and use taht to figure out what we really want in a friend or romantic significant other in our life.
When King David heard all this, he was furious. And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.
~II Samuel 13:21-22
What was father David's reaction to what had happened between his son and his daughter? What should he have done to Amnon? What could he have done for Tamar?
- He was furious
- He should have given Amnon a lawful punishment
- Loved her more
- Yes I have! If I didn't I would be seeking out a good friend.
These are some great thought provoking questions.
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