Has God asked you to do any thankless tasks? What were they, and how did they turn out?

This is a pretty hard question for me, I admit.  I'm having trouble thinking of one situation.  Surely something like this has happened to me.  I'm not sure if this is the greatest example, but twice before, and I'm enduring this situation now, is where I knew that God was telling me to move on with my life, eventhough I felt so much pull to wish for what I did have back.  Obviously, a task like this takes a lot of time to accomplish, and eventually, when the time is right, one day you wake up and everything is ok again without the thing you had before.

Tamar, Daughter-in-law of Judah

At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah.  There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and made love to her;  she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er.  She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan.  She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that she gave birth to him.

  Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.  But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death.

  Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.”  But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother.  What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death also.

~Genesis 38:1-10

Onan was supposed to father children through Tamar for his brother Er.  This is the same act as that of the "kinsman-redeemer" found in the book of Ruth.  The closest of kin was to father a child to carry on the line of the deceased husband.  Although the act may seem offensive to us today, what do you think God's purpose was in decreeing such a plan?

• This should bring up some interesting answers, and if you are reading this and/or have a different theory, please comment below!  Well we know that according to the old testament, a lot of the people mentioned lived, from what was stated, over a hundred years.  However, this has been, I believe, debated over quite some time as to how long that life span really was.  One thing probably debated is because we were probalby following an entirely different calendar during that tme.  But then we know there was a time where people were not living very long, due to desease or plague, so at that time husbands and wives had to make sure that they conceived as many children as possible so that the family line could be carried on, and I think that's what the issue is here with Tamar.  It was custom of the time that the family tree be continued, otherwise, there possibly might not be anyone else living! 

Judah then said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s household until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He may die too, just like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s household.

  After a long time Judah’s wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had recovered from his grief, he went up to Timnah, to the men who were shearing his sheep, and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went with him.

  When Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is on his way to Timnah to shear his sheep,”  she took off her widow’s clothes, covered herself with a veil to disguise herself, and then sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had now grown up, she had not been given to him as his wife.

  When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face.  Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.”

   “And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked.

  “I’ll send you a young goat from my flock,” he said.

   “Will you give me something as a pledge until you send it?” she asked.

  He said, “What pledge should I give you?”

   “Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand,” she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him.  After she left, she took off her veil and put on her widow’s clothes again.

~Genesis 38:11-19

None of the men in Tamar's life fulfilled their responsibilities to her, including her father-in-law Judah.  Describe how you think Tamar must have been feeling throughout the course of these events.  Angry?  Ignored?  Dishonored?  Belittled? Ashamed?

• I defnitely think she must have been angry, felt ignored and kind of belittled, just because she was not blood related to Judah's family.  I think this was her way of revenge, in a way, to get back at Judah so that she could have a child to continue his family line as the customs were in the day.

Why was Tamar so desperate to have a child?

• so she could do her duty in continuing Judah's family line.

Are you, or is someone you know, desperate to have children?  How do the ordeals of infertility today compare to what Tamar was willing to endure in ancient times?

• I'm not, nor am I aware of any of my friends in any kind of desperation to have a child right now.  If I'm desperate for anything personally, it's to be back in a loving relationship with someone, whoever it may be.  I think the ordeals were pretty much about the same as what issues we have today.

Meanwhile Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get his pledge back from the woman, but he did not find her.  He asked the men who lived there, “Where is the shrine prostitute who was beside the road at Enaim?”

   “There hasn’t been any shrine prostitute here,” they said.

  So he went back to Judah and said, “I didn’t find her. Besides, the men who lived there said, ‘There hasn’t been any shrine prostitute here.’”

  Then Judah said, “Let her keep what she has, or we will become a laughingstock. After all, I did send her this young goat, but you didn’t find her.”

  About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant.”

   Judah said, “Bring her out and have her burned to death!”

~Genesis 38:20-24

What do you think of Judah's response to the news that Tamar was pregnant?  Was it a double standard for him to condemn her actions but not his own?

• Pretty harsh I think!  We see with a lot of other main characters who have been tricked kind of let it slide in a way before.  Basically, they were more gentle in their responses.  It probably can be considered a double standard because he kind of just shoved Tamar to the side when he could have just offered himself to Tamar to continue his lineage and Tamar was more or less just as wrong to trick Juday into sleeping with her.

Do such double standars exist today?  How?  Are they as common as they were, say ten or twenty years ago?

• Oh I'm sure there are! I would say that one coudl be like someone saying your not doing what I want you to do properly, yet, they too have their own issues, you are working hard to improve things, but the other half is doing nothing to improve their part of the job.  I would say that this has not changed in some circumstances in the past ten or twenty years.

As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. “I am pregnant by the man who owns these,” she said. And she added, “See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are.”

  Judah recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again.

  When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb.  As she was giving birth, one of them put out his hand; so the midwife took a scarlet thread and tied it on his wrist and said, “This one came out first.”  But when he drew back his hand, his brother came out, and she said, “So this is how you have broken out!” And he was named Perez.  Then his brother, who had the scarlet thread on his wrist, came out. And he was named Zerah.

~Genesis 38:25-30

When you consider what Tamar did in offering herself  disguised as a prostitute to her father-in-law, do his words in verse 26 suprise you?  Why?  Describe what Judah meant by these words.

• Not really because I think he is speaking sarcastically.  Why would anyone call a prostitute "righteous"?  I think what he was meaning was "because you slept with me and have conseived a child with me, I will no longer let you sleep with either me or my son."

The story of Tamar is a difficult one to digest.  There is simply no way to assimilate what she did with our current way of thinking.  Why would such a story ever be included in the inspired scripture?

• I think it had to be included because that pretty much tells us that not everyone, even women, were pure back then.  It's almost a life lesson that if a woman gives herself to be used all the time, there is no way that she will be touched by a man that wants a holesome intimate relationship with her.

Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,
   Perez the father of Hezron,
   Hezron the father of Ram,

~Matthew 1:3

What does Tamar's inclusion in the lineage of Christ tell you about God's power to bring good out of tragic events?

• It tells us that eventhough not everything is perfect, God is always there to make things right in the end.

How has God worked good out of the bad things that have happened to you  or to someone you know?

• By giving me or my friends patience and letting us know that He is always there for us.

What struggles have you gone through? Can you see some positive effects on your personality as a result of those struggles?

The one struggle I can defiitely think of is when some of my professors would question my ability to teach because of my disability.  Since then I have been able to prove them wrong and in my personal life, I have become a much more assertive person.

Leah

Jacob made love to Rachel also, and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.

~Genesis 29:30

Pick one word you think best describes how Leah felt about this marriage to Jacob.

• Jealousy

Many women today have husbands who love something more than their wives: their jobs, their position, their money, sports.  Many things other than another woman con put a wife in Leah's position.  If you know someone who is a "Leah," pray daily for her and be an encouragement to her when given the opportunity.

• (followers/subscribers may feel free to leave a prayer comment below)

When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless.

~Genesis 29:31

Leah is an unparalleled example of God's willingness to give "beauty" for "Ashes" (see Isaiah 61:1-3).  How has God worked this way in your life?  How has he worked this way in the lives of your friends or relatives?

• First, let's take a look at what Isaiah 61:1-3 says:

   ¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

     because the LORD has anointed me

     to proclaim good news to the poor.

  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

     to proclaim freedom for the captives

     and release from darkness for the prisoners,

  ² to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor

     and the day of vengeance of our God,

  to comfort all who mourn,

   ³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

  to bestow on them a crown of beauty

     instead of ashes,

  the oil of joy

     instead of mourning,

  and a garment of praise

     instead of a spirit of despair.

  They will be called oaks of righteousness,

     a planting of the LORD

     for the display of his splendor.

  In my own personal life, He has shown me that I am much better than someone else may think I am and I believe he has done the same for either of my friends or relatives.

Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”

  She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.

  Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.

~Genesis 29:32-34

In each of the verses, Leah expreses her desire for Jacob's affections, an affection she knew she didn't have.  In your own words, describe how Leah probaby felt and acted toward Jacob.  What do you think Jacob's reaction was?

• I think that Leah acted so needy that she almost sounded like she would be whining to Jacob. Jacob probably would get annoyed at times after a while and complain back.

Have you ever felt unloved by your husband, your parents, or someone else?  How did you feel and act?  What is your only possible source of comfort when you desperately want a love you don't have?

• Yes I have, but my sistuation was moreso with my last boyfriend. 
• When I had come to realize this, I had felt that my very relationship with him was threatened so I would tend to act more jealous around him than probably normal
• I would say that my source of comfort woudl be either through prayer or through talking with friends that I know would care about me and what I'm going through

Then he gave them these instructions: “I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite,  the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre in Canaan, which Abraham bought along with the field as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite.  There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried, there Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried, and there I buried Leah.

~Genesis 49:29-31

Jacob was buried next to the wife he loved less rather than next to the wife he loved more.  What does this say not only about Leah's position as a wife, but also as the mother of teh Isrealites?

• I think it says that Jacob realized that Leah did deserve love from him and that she was a good mother to those that will become the tribes of Isreal

Although Leah was, of course, unaware of the positoin she was awarded in death, what do these verses continue to reveal about God's involvement in her life?

• That she was the mother of many nations

Leah had a full life with many sons and wealth.  However, she is best kown for what she didn't have: the love of her husband.  God noticed what she did have but also what she lacked.  What one thing do you want to learn from Leah and from her God?

• I think one thing to learn from her is to be patient and when the time is right, God will provide.

Rachel

Jacob made love to Rachel also, and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.

~Genesis 29:30

How do you think most women would respond to the situation in which Rachel found herself?  With love and concern for her unloved sister?  Or with a spirit of superiority and pride?

• Good question!  Eventhough Rachel did get married to Jacob, on their very wedding night, it was Leah that was sent to lay with Jacob!  Rachel had to have been livid with her father Laban for pulling such trickery!  After Jacob settled the fiasco, the couple finally got to have their moment of bliss.  I would think that most women would respond with some spirit of superiority or pride in this situation because they would feel tied to their husbands; they are their husband's and their husbands are theirs.

When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”

~Genesis 30:1

The agony expressed by Rachel's words here is an agony experienced by many women over the centuries.  How did Rachel's close relationship with Leah increase her pain?  Is there any way their relationship could have eased her pain instead?

• I think the pain was more unbearable because Rachel was jealous of Leah being more fruitful in bearing children.  Pehaps how the pain could have been more bearable would be if she kepts praying to God for patience?

Jacob made love to Rachel also, and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.  When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless.

~Genesis 29:30-31

When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”

~Genesis 30:1

These two sisters each has something the other wanted.  What did Rachel have that Leah wanted?  What did Leah have that Rachel wanted?

• Leah wanted to be loved like Rachel was
• Rachel wanted to be able to conceive children like Leah did

Discontentment is an insidious thing, trapping us into thinking that which was enough is no longer enough, and that which was satisfying is no longer satisfying.  Do you ever feel discontnet because you didn't "have it all"?  What can you do to resist such sentiments?

• I'm sure I have felt like this before.  Of course, we can never have all that we want, or at least, not right away.  The one thing I can think of that would serve as resistence would be to be at least thankful for the things you have and that maybe later on in life, you will get what you want in time and in patience.

When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father’s household gods.  "Now you have gone off because you longed to return to your father’s household. But why did you steal my gods?”

  Jacob answered Laban, “I was afraid, because I thought you would take your daughters away from me by force.  But if you find anyone who has your gods, that person shall not live. In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself whether there is anything of yours here with me; and if so, take it.” Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the gods.

  So Laban went into Jacob’s tent and into Leah’s tent and into the tent of the two female servants, but he found nothing. After he came out of Leah’s tent, he entered Rachel’s tent.  Now Rachel had taken the household gods and put them inside her camel’s saddle and was sitting on them. Laban searched through everything in the tent but found nothing.

~Genesis 31:19, 30-34

Why would Rachel even have such idols?  Why do you think she hid them from her father?

• In a way, I don't think she took them along with her to worship them herself, it could be possible that she took them from her father so she could send an indirect message that there is something much better out their to worship. 
• She probably hid them from her father because she was probably thinking the same thing  Jacob was; that she would be forcefully returned to her home.

When have you been in a situation that caused you to lie or cheat to protect yourself or someone else?  Describe it.  What could/should have you done differently?

• I think there have been lots of times when I was in a relationship with someone that I may have felt like I need to lie to my parents about what they may have said or if something happened while me and that person argued.  I did everything in my power to confide everything in that person because I loved them.  With that, I also didn't want anyone to know that anything was wrong with us.  I thought a lot of the time that I was a big enough girl to take care of my own issues on my own.  I know it's a sin to lie to people, so all I can think that what I could have done differently would be to just tell the truth.

Then they moved on from Bethel. While they were still some distance from Ephrath, Rachel began to give birth and had great difficulty.  And as she was having great difficulty in childbirth, the midwife said to her, “Don’t despair, for you have another son.”  As she breathed her last—for she was dying—she named her son Ben-Oni. But his father named him Benjamin.

  So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem).  Over her tomb Jacob set up a pillar, and to this day that pillar marks Rachel’s tomb.

~Genesis 35:16-20

Given the fact that they were on a journey, desribe in your own words the situation under which Rachel likely gave birth.

• I can see that the needed to pull over on the side of the road, and Rachel would have had to be propped up against a tree or rock.  I can see that the sun might have been bearing down on everyone in company, particularly Rachel.

It's one of the paradimes of life, revealed here in this tragic story of Rachel's death, that what we most want from life we often can only gain by giving up something else that's equally important to us.  Can you think of an instance in your own life in which gaining something you wanted required giving up something else?

• Yes, I believe I can.  While I was in college, it was tough for me to get my GPA up to a 3.0 in order for me to student teach.  Twice I tried to be apart of the practicum class that I needed to take before entering student teaching.  Then, somewhere in the middle of the semester, I would find out that I would not gain enough points to be able to student teach.  I had been involved in a lot of ensembles in my day.  When it came to the next fall semester, I had came to the realization that I had already put in four years worth of college marching band, so I made the hard diecision of giving up that ensemble, in order to allow more time for my studies.  Needless to say, it paid off.

Jacob renamed his new son Benjamin, which means "son of my right hand."  What does this new name reveal about Jacob's hope for the future?

• It could be a very far off prediction that someone will come and save us all.

Have you ever fought hard with a person close to you, and then experienced ronconciliation? What process did you go through?

“Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other.  “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.”

~Genesis 37:19-20

Yes I have gone through something like this, and I'm sure we all have in our lives.  It happened a few years ago after my now ex-boyfriend broke up with me the last time after having cheated on me.  I had become so angry and bitter towards him for the sinful things he had committed towards me that I would just publicly humiliate him in my blind rage. Needles to say, he would do the same thing back to me.  So, in result, there was a period of time that we were more or less enemies of each other.  Then, maybe a week or two later, I was suprised to have recieved a message from him apologizing to me how he treated me after our relationship ended.  I definitely thought it was nce of him to have sent this message of apology, but of course I was still hurting and still needed some time to sort things out in order to fully forgive him, and maybe make my own apologies.  When I was ready, I was comfortable enough to embrace him as a friend.

Do ordinary desires -- for food, romance, peer approval, success -- conflict with spiritual ambitions in your life? How can you deal with such conflicts?

I think sometimes they have.  I think there have been times when I'd much rather be visiting with my boyfriend rather than go to a church choir rehearsal that might be pretty important not to miss.  Probably the best way to deal with these kind of conflicts is to really make the smart decisions on what is more important.  Not that love isn't important in ones life, but if something is a team effort, then that probably ways more than a relationship.